Tim Russert.

Woke up a couple minutes ago. Switched to MSNBC out of my usual channel flipping impulsion because ESPN was blathering on about something stupid. There was this red bit at the bottom and they had some cardinal on the phone, which was all I could read as my vision is blurry. I see Tim on the picture talking but the sound is cut out so you can hear this guy on the phone. I can't stand guys on the phone on TV because the audio is horrible so I switch over to the History channel.

I roll over and it kind of dawns on me that there's only one explanation for the circumstances I just saw and I just feel this terrible feeling in my gut.

Tim was one of the last of the old guard journalists. He managed to be fair and respectful at the same time as reaching for truth above some phony "balance". He seemed to me to really care about the issues not just in a "my ideology better win" way or a "I'm getting paid to do this" way, but like the process of debate and the result of reasoned thought actually mattered.

There's not too many more like him today. I'm sure there's a couple here and there but I can't think of anybody his caliber that also had the visibility he did.

Fate can be unbelievably cruel sometimes. America can scarcely do without him in this highly obnoxious time of bleating surrogates and pretty faces who read paraphrased Reuters feeds off the teleprompter. But heart attacks in particular and nature in general don't seem to be cognizant of what society needs or wants.

He didn't look that unhealthy. I wonder if the weight of the job started to wear on him. Somehow it's easier to take if I imagine he would have welcomed the final rest but who knows. I feel bad for his family and friends and co-workers. I hear from all accounts he was a really helpful guy and nice to be around, but they always say that. Mostly though I feel sorry for myself.