Surveying the Field

These are the Democratic Candidates they are alright i guess:

Sen Joe Biden: First choice out of the field -- but underfunded and a backrunner. My favorite choice from what I've seen of him on the television. He seems genuine and intelligent, and has none of the muddle-mouthiness that made Kerry incomprehensible to the average moron.

Obama: Genuine Enough. My second choice, he is highly charismatic and could probably go some way towards repairing damaged relationships with our allies, but I worry he is not pragmatic or inventive enough to clean up the current administration's complete mess. Will probably win the whole shebang.

Hillary: Being in politics a really long time and working really hard to get to the top does not entitle you to be the first female president, especially if you will say absolutely anything if it looks like it will get you elected. Also thinks violent videogames make children kill each other and doesn't bother to check facts (Rockstar and "Hot Coffee")

John Edwards: Seems genuine and honest and qualitatively capable enough, but is kind of a wet fish as far as charisma goes, and will probably just do whatever Congress wants on Iraq and stick to domestic policy solamente for the next four years. That could be disastrous, in this insect's opinion. Hillary might actually be better for solely pragmatic reasons.

The Republican field sucks shit.

Rudy Guliani is probably the best choice, although the only thing that really makes him stand out are a) I WAS MAYOR DURING 9/11 GUYS, b) an embarassing host of personal problems and c) unwillingness to play to the republican base on certain one-off issues. He is probably has the best administrative pedigree among the right since as he's bound to tell you he did some mayorin' for this one city this one time.

Mitt Romney puts the right's effigy of Kerry to shame. His current image is practically a mirror image of what it was before he decided to seek the election. Now thinks abortion is bad and isn't cool with the gays no mo'. Barf.

Newt: Rudy without the charm and personal problems that make him a despicable human being instead of just embarassing. If elected, will leave a cancerous America on its deathbed for a younger, hotter country.

McCain: Old and compromising everything that made him the best choice out of anybody in the 2000 primaries. His shift to the far right pretty much scuttles any chance of winning out against anybody but maybe Edwards or Hillary in the general. Worships the flag as an idol, or at least thinks there's a good reason to curtail freedom of speech to prevent idiots from burning it, and thinks the war in Iraq is super cool. Newt at least has the Clintonian intellect to go along with the Clintonian attitude towards fidelity. I'd take a pass on this grumpy gramps.

I'll add more candidates as I care enough about them.